Sticking to your game-plan or abandon ship?

My last post on being “creepy” got a massive amount of views. I guess that was a topic that many guys were interested in. One of the guys who responded to it had a great question and I figured rather than answering it, I’d just write a post on that topic because I think it would really add a ton of value to my readers! Here’s what he had to say….

Great stuff… And now that you mention it, there’s a topic that I would really like to hear you on…

Sometimes, I find myself being unsure as to what my goal should be when I go out… A common saying in the community is that we should always aim for “outcome independence”, so we are really focused on learning a skillset, instead of getting too attached to any particular girl. However, another common saying in the community (that you have written about not so long ago if I remember correctly), is that we should try to push every set as far as we could, not ejecting too soon, etc. What sometimes happen is that I go out with the intent of opening 10 or 20 sets to work on something specific (stacking attraction routines, for instance), but then my 6th set is going particularly well and I don’t know if I should just eject and continue the drill, or keep talking to her and try to push it as far as I can, even if it means that I won’t have the time to do 20 sets on that very night…

Basically, to what extent should you stick 100% to your game plan when you start learning this? Moreover, what would really be really helpful is if you could write about what your typical cold-approach session looked like when you were still a beginner/intermediate. An old FR (not LR…), for instance, would be really cool to read!!!”

Let’s break this down in sections so it will be easier to answer and understand.
A common saying in the community is that we should always aim for “outcome independence”, so we are really focused on learning a skillset, instead of getting too attached to any particular girl. However, another common saying in the community (that you have written about not so long ago if I remember correctly), is that we should try to push every set as far as we could, not ejecting too soon, etc.”
Becoming outcome independent is about giving it your all when you’re in set but not letting a negative response from her affect your state while you’re talking to her or when she walks away from you because you weren’t able to attract her into your life! You want to be able to approach the next woman with the same zeal and energy regardless of what happened prior. When you let negative reactions affect your state, your next approaches will still have remnants of the last interaction carrying over with you. That’s why when you’re out in the field and things are just going your way and all of your sets are great, you can keep approaching with success after success. It’s all about your state and what your sub-communicating to women when you’re talking to them. And when you’re getting bad reactions from women, you tend to keep getting bad reactions the rest of the day or night! You’re allowing their reactions to you to affect you and your state!
Next:
“However, another common saying in the community (that you have written about not so long ago if I remember correctly), is that we should try to push every set as far as we could, not ejecting too soon, etc.”
When you go out in the field you should ALWAYS try to push yourself and the set as far as you can. The only time I wold suggest ejecting early is if your game is already very good and you know from true experience that the set is not going good or going nowhere. If that’s the case, then eject and move on to the next. If you’re not a seasoned veteran and are still in the learning phase, I would suggest staying in as long as you can for the experience aspect of it. You can still stay in and run some of your game and test some things out.
Next:
What sometimes happens is that I go out with the intent of opening 10 or 20 sets to work on something specific (stacking attraction routines, for instance), but then my 6th set is going particularly well and I don’t know if I should just eject and continue the drill, or keep talking to her and try to push it as far as I can, even if it means that I won’t have the time to do 20 sets on that very night…
This is an easy one to tackle! If you;re going out to work on specific areas of your game and you find that one of your sets hooks and you’re really into the girl… STAY IN!!!! That means what you’re doing is working and you should keep making it work with her! You may have a temporary goal that day of opening 20 sets but your END goal will always be the same and that is attracting a wonderful woman into your life! If you have a great chick who’s into you, drop your temporary goal and stick it out with her and try to pull her or at least get a solid phone number! You’ll always have goals you set for yourself when you go out… But like I said, usually one is a temporary goal and one is a long term goal. If your temporary goal is producing the long term goal than the answer should be obvious.
Next:
“Basically, to what extent should you stick 100% to your game plan when you start learning this? Moreover, what would really be really helpful is if you could write about what your typical cold-approach session looked like when you were still a beginner/intermediate. An old FR (not LR…), for instance, would be really cool to read!!!”
I wish I had some old FR’s. Unfortunately for you guys, I was never the guy who wrote up FR’s and LR’s. I got to be where I am because the guys who I was going out with spread the word. They saw it with their own eyes and started spreading the word about my game until BradP heard about it and hired me. There might be a few FR’s or LR’s floating around somewhere but typically, I was the guy who was out in the field instead of sitting around at home writing reports. Do I think writing things up for the Dating Community to scrutinize and critique is a good thing and a great way to learn??? YES I DO!!! But, I just never was in that frame of mind myself. I liked to figure most of this stuff out for myself with a little help from some of my mentors when I was stuck.
But what I can do is tell you what some of my typical days looked like.
If I went out into the field to learn how to meet women, you can bet your life on it that I WAS OUT THERE MEETING WOMEN. I was relentless when I went out. I literally did THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of approaches the first 2 years!
I did set specific goals for each particular day or week and I stuck to them at all costs. If a goal for a certain day was to open 20 sets, I opened 20 sets and that meant that if one turned into an instant date and I spent 4 hrs. with her than I went home really late at night or until I reached my goal of 20. Some days, all of my sets went great and it would take me 10hrs to finally open the 20 sets I promised myself.
On a different week, maybe I would pick 2 new openers a day and tell myself I would just say that opener 40 times! Yes, 40 times! And I can assure that I opened 40 women with just that opener. At the end of that week I talked to 280 women! 40 times a day for 7 days! Do the math.
I took notes on everything that happened to me in the field. If I couldn’t figure out what to say or do on my own, I searched out the answers that I needed and then immediately went back out to figure it out and see if the advice I received was correct! Back then I received a lot of BAD INFO from supposed guru’s. i made sure that I found the right people who were getting REAL success and dropped all the fakes like a bad habit.
Other weeks, once I was good at meeting chicks, I went out with the intention of making up my openers and routines. That meant I went out with no routines or canned material. I was blind. I had to rely totally on my experience with women and my knowledge of female psychology to produce results. That was a really fun time for me! I got to a point when I didn’t want to use routines or canned openers because I had used them so much and my results were so predictable. I was getting laid non-stop and I had more women in my life than I could handle. I look back sometimes and realize that I had a different woman at my house up to 20-30 nights in a row! But I was relying on all the attract material that I had learned and wanted to be more natural. But the only way to learn how to be natural is to use routines in the beginning. Using routines gave me the insight and courage to approach women empty handed with just my natural ability.
The learning process was am emotional roller coaster ride! There were days when I felt like quitting and giving up, and there were days when I felt as if I was on top of the world but I always kept my eye on the prize. I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel and my dating life before I learned this stuff was HORRIBLE when it came to meeting women. I always equated more pain in going back to the way I was than pushing forward. That main point was the one motivational I can attribute to my success today!

10 thoughts on “Sticking to your game-plan or abandon ship?

  1. Glenn, I know your learning phase and approaching stories pretty well. Because you told me a few times in person and because I’ve heard it through other people. My question is, you particularly seem as though you didn’t suffer from AA or state control problems too much. For example, I’d go out looking to approach 10 girls. And it’s not everyday that I meet that goal whether it’d be a few consecutive bad blowouts or just generally sets not going well or I end up talking to some chick for hours (which is good). With that said, what do you think differentiates people who are RELENTLESS when it comes to gaming and who are not? Can it be solely devoted to inner game issue? Is it just all about stepping your foot forward each time? I’m not particularly enjoying myself when gaming because of this reason. And I feel this is going to be the biggest hurdle in my game before a smooth sailing.

    Best,
    Steve B.

    • Neon…..

      What’s up man?? Haven’t seen you around lately?!?! Where you been hiding??

      I actually get asked this question quite a bit and hear similar problems from almost every single guy I talk to…

      Of course I suffered from Approach Anxiety. My anxiety level was through the roof!!!! Paralyzing at times. There were even times I thought I was going to faint about 5 minutes into the interaction but the ONE thing that made me get over the anxiety the quickest was consistency and momentum! Anxiety is like an infection, it can come back at any time after you’ve suppressed it but with constant exposure it quickly loses it’s power to stop you from meeting chicks! You need to constantly expose yourself to the things you fear the most. It does go away!!!! I promise!

      It comes down to, HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT??? Guys say they want it but their actions say something completely different! If you want something bad enough, you’ll stop at nothing to achieve your desires! In my opinion, most men think they want it but in reality they don’t! To get it takes hard work and determination. You have to be willing to go through hell to get to heaven! Are you ready to do this??? Guys tend to want a quick fix… But in Pick-Up, there is no quick fix. You’ll get good as fast as you want to and NO faster.

      Yes!!! It comes down to an inner game issue! If you didn’t have any inner game issues going on, you’d be out there approaching and getting laid or married!!!

      As soon as you can effectively handle your anxiety, you’ll start to have fun with it! Once you have fun with meeting new women, you’ll be unstoppable!

      There is also an issue of believability! My guess is that you have only a handful of cold-approach lays? Or none at all??? Once you take a bite of the apple from the tree of life, you’re addicted to it. You’ve got to see some personal measurable results to be able to believe in what you are doing. Those results don’t have to be sex but you need to see some sort of improvement and if you’re not improving than you need to change what you’re doing!!! if you don’t do this, you’ll burn out and STOP believing!

      Try to teach yourself to enjoy the learning process… I know how hard this can be especially when you’re getting slaughtered out there but hold your head up high, man up and do whatever it takes to achieve your dating goals!!!

      GP

  2. WHAT UPPPPP Glenn. Nothing much, just being out there approaching. I haven’t been posting stuff online much because I don’t really have a reason to nor am I the type. I just come back here once in a while to get some real life knowledge. I’ve been reading your posts pretty consistently though, some right on the money GEMS/Ideas/Insights are on here. So much props!

    Now back to your response, I think there are a few notable things.

    First, consistency and momentum. This is totally true. I think warming up, for me, is basically a process of getting positive feedback from easy openers to start my own positive cycle while upping my investment in the interaction each time. It’s important for me to keep going when things are good and capitalize on the good state. I’ll definitely keep this one mind. Someone said momentum is all they think about when they are approaching, does this sound right??

    Second, the question of “How bad do you want this?” Well the obvious answer is YES I want it super bad and I want super bad chicks to give me Mclovin’ everyday but it is one thing to say it and another to act on it. I actually think on this one that ‘instant gratification’ might be the problem. Nowadays, nobody’s willing to put in the work to achieve something great if they have to manage to last a long time before they see any considerable results (might include me too but I’m fighting this negative mentality everyday). And you’re right. I will only get better FAST when I put in more effort. Sometimes it really feels like a mental workout when I’m out there!!

    Third, inner game issue, this one I think can only be learned in field, yes?

    Last but not least, believability. THIS IS HUGE. I’m so glad your mentioned this. I KNOW I don’t 100 percent believe that I can get laid from cold approaches. And yes I have a handful of lays, probably around 1 percent success rate maybe not even!! which is nuts. I’ve been improving, sure, I’ve grown thicker skin, getting more dates or whatnot but what I think I need is some coaching ASAP and a good second set of eyes to see what I’m doing wrong, which is gonna be at least 6 months before I can. lolol.

    Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration. I would love it if you write more about inner game stuff, that would be super helpful for guys with the tendency to shrug inwards and be in their heads like I am. Cheers my friend!

    SB

    • Neon or should I call you McLovin???

      Momentum is important but it’s not the be all end all of pick-up! Along with momentum there needs to be the willingness to grow, accept pain/failure and be willing to look like the fool for the betterment of your personal growth! Momentum is just like the saying.. “An object in motion tends to stay in motion”.

      And I don’t like saying this but I truly believe that if you really wanted it bad enough you’d stop at nothing. Part of you is still OK with staying right where you are. It’s familiar and comfortable… To traverse outside of your world is going to be challenging and scary! In your case, you’ve built up momentum in a disempowering way. But I know you and you’re a super cool guy and very good looking so there is no reason why you can’t be one of the best! I know you have it in you! Sooner or later you’re going to have equate more pain in being the way you are than rejection from women.

      Go out and put the effort in for 6months staright with no stopping and I promise you’ll be a star!!!

      Gp

      • Hey thanks Glenn.That’s very encouraging. I will do just that and come back to complain more to you. Hope you’ve been faring well in this calamity. I’ll probably see you soon for a haircut. Cheers!

        SB

  3. Hi Glenn,
    Regards from New Zealand.
    That was an awesome post man; rally helpful and i’ll try embodying it as much as i can…been following your blog for quite a while now. I’m a student here (from another country) and was having a really hard time applying what I’d learnt. My college is in a small town nd most people know one another. So I had a very slow start when it came to applying the information i’d gained.

    My college is almost over for the year and I’ve now moved over to Auckland, the only big city in NZ. I’ve been approaching continuously for a week (mostly daygame). I found it hardest to make approaches in the Queen st, which is the busiest street in the country. So I took it as a challenge and promised myself that if i find it scary as all hell to do approaches in this street, I must keep doing it again and again till I’m comfortable with it. Here’s sth I’ve noticed that I’d like to share.

    I use the horse girl or direct opener and am able to build some attraction. I’m able to lean back, speak aloud and get animated and excited. I get them laughing as well and i try not to leave without getting a phone number or a blowout. But when i go for the number I get the usual “I dont know you that well” and they start to walk off but smiling. But I make it a point to walk up to them again and try to fix it. But for some reason I’m just not being able to.

    From what i’ve read I need to build rapport. But Glenn, in a short window of time in a busy street is it possible to build rapport like its said in the community?? Or could sth be done beforehand?? I’ll be out again in a couple of hours (night game)…..ur blog post has encouraged me to put my life onto it even if i’m not getting real results.

    Cheers Glenn,
    SK

    • Sameer….

      What’s up man??? New Zealand?!?! That’s awesome! I hear the women out there are amazingly hot??? Send some over to NYC!

      If a girl says I don’t know you that well than you need more rapport, connection and commonalities! Chicks will sometimes if not always give you the instructions that you need to sleep with them! Just follow their instructions.

      I would say that you’re going for the number too fast! Try only going for the number after 15-20mins.

      I guarantee NYC is much busier than Queen Street! If we could get girls to stop and talk with us over here for long amounts of time there’s no reason why you can’t do it there. Time is always on your side when you with a girl and ALWAYS working against you when you’re no longer with them! make it a point to build a more solid connection with a chick and if there isn’t enough time to do that, commonalities is the next best thing! With quick sets, start texting ASAP! Do not play aloof game with her until she’s completely invested in you.

      I’m so glad that I’m inspiring you and people all over the world. That is why I’m here! I don’t do it for me!!! I do it for you!

      If you need clarity on any more that I have said, feel free to ask but I gave the most direct answers to your problems with all the fluffy theory shit!! 8)

      Gp

  4. Glenn,
    True………there’s some killer bitches out there but the whole country has only 4 million people which is HORRIBLE when u want to PU women!!! On top of that when you’re studying in a small town and u’re only 20 and from another culture, its a mental masturbation no matter how much you’ve read abt dating nd attraction.

    U’re right NYC is way bigger than Akl. I actually wanted to move to the states!! won’t be able to until a couple of years though…..but now hey at least my college is over for the yr so i can go sarging consitently for some time nd ts a huge thing for me….

    Frm the few daygame videos i’d watched nd some gurus who say that in daytime u hv to go for the no very fast since the girl is busy i wud go for it typically after 5-7 mins of interaction….nd when its a two set her friend keeps walking (that is unless u’re using an opinion opener) nd eventually the girl feels pressured to join her friend nd i kinda feel it too so i go for staying in touch. 15-20 mins! Im gonna try…..

    Chicks will give me instructions?? I only approach girls im really attracted to nd never experienced it. Or maybe its abt not having enough experience??
    thanx for all ur help brother no bullshit nd concrete advice. I hate spending time on forums so i’ll be seeking ur help time nd again.
    I find the whole thing educational nd liberating.
    Sameer.

    • Sameer….

      Those videos about DayGame that you watch are usually bullshit! Some of the guys are good but most of them are what I call an Approach Artist! An Approach Artist is a guy who’s got really great opening game(which is really common even among the newbie) but can’t seal the deal! They NEVER get the girl. Those fast phone numbers you’re seeing aren’t worth crap! Once in a while a quick 3-5 minute number will work out but 90% of the time they will not!!!!

      Just because you see a guy get attraction and a phone number doesn’t mean a thing!!!! Just ask another Guru besides myself to take a look at those fancy videos and he’ll tell you the same exact thing!!!

      And yes… Chicks will give you instructions… You just have to be smart enough to be able to understand them when she gives them to you! They are always telling you exactly what to do in order to get her into bed…. Whether that be something verbal or non-verbal, the hints are there just learn what they are and look for them when she gives them to you!!!

      Gp

  5. Hey Glenn,

    Thanks for your detailed answer!!! I’ve read it a couple of times and I believe that I now have a much clearer understanding of what the learning process should be like, on a daily basis, long after the workshop’s over, when there aren’t any coach around to push you…

    Well, if there ain’t no shortcut, then I better be going… I got work to do!!!

    Ttys,

    JL

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