My last post on being “creepy” got a massive amount of views. I guess that was a topic that many guys were interested in. One of the guys who responded to it had a great question and I figured rather than answering it, I’d just write a post on that topic because I think it would really add a ton of value to my readers! Here’s what he had to say….
Becoming outcome independent is about giving it your all when you’re in set but not letting a negative response from her affect your state while you’re talking to her or when she walks away from you because you weren’t able to attract her into your life! You want to be able to approach the next woman with the same zeal and energy regardless of what happened prior. When you let negative reactions affect your state, your next approaches will still have remnants of the last interaction carrying over with you. That’s why when you’re out in the field and things are just going your way and all of your sets are great, you can keep approaching with success after success. It’s all about your state and what your sub-communicating to women when you’re talking to them. And when you’re getting bad reactions from women, you tend to keep getting bad reactions the rest of the day or night! You’re allowing their reactions to you to affect you and your state!
“However, another common saying in the community (that you have written about not so long ago if I remember correctly), is that we should try to push every set as far as we could, not ejecting too soon, etc.”
When you go out in the field you should ALWAYS try to push yourself and the set as far as you can. The only time I wold suggest ejecting early is if your game is already very good and you know from true experience that the set is not going good or going nowhere. If that’s the case, then eject and move on to the next. If you’re not a seasoned veteran and are still in the learning phase, I would suggest staying in as long as you can for the experience aspect of it. You can still stay in and run some of your game and test some things out.
“What sometimes happens is that I go out with the intent of opening 10 or 20 sets to work on something specific (stacking attraction routines, for instance), but then my 6th set is going particularly well and I don’t know if I should just eject and continue the drill, or keep talking to her and try to push it as far as I can, even if it means that I won’t have the time to do 20 sets on that very night…
This is an easy one to tackle! If you;re going out to work on specific areas of your game and you find that one of your sets hooks and you’re really into the girl… STAY IN!!!! That means what you’re doing is working and you should keep making it work with her! You may have a temporary goal that day of opening 20 sets but your END goal will always be the same and that is attracting a wonderful woman into your life! If you have a great chick who’s into you, drop your temporary goal and stick it out with her and try to pull her or at least get a solid phone number! You’ll always have goals you set for yourself when you go out… But like I said, usually one is a temporary goal and one is a long term goal. If your temporary goal is producing the long term goal than the answer should be obvious.
“Basically, to what extent should you stick 100% to your game plan when you start learning this? Moreover, what would really be really helpful is if you could write about what your typical cold-approach session looked like when you were still a beginner/intermediate. An old FR (not LR…), for instance, would be really cool to read!!!”
I wish I had some old FR’s. Unfortunately for you guys, I was never the guy who wrote up FR’s and LR’s. I got to be where I am because the guys who I was going out with spread the word. They saw it with their own eyes and started spreading the word about my game until BradP heard about it and hired me. There might be a few FR’s or LR’s floating around somewhere but typically, I was the guy who was out in the field instead of sitting around at home writing reports. Do I think writing things up for the Dating Community to scrutinize and critique is a good thing and a great way to learn??? YES I DO!!! But, I just never was in that frame of mind myself. I liked to figure most of this stuff out for myself with a little help from some of my mentors when I was stuck.
But what I can do is tell you what some of my typical days looked like.
If I went out into the field to learn how to meet women, you can bet your life on it that I WAS OUT THERE MEETING WOMEN. I was relentless when I went out. I literally did THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of approaches the first 2 years!
I did set specific goals for each particular day or week and I stuck to them at all costs. If a goal for a certain day was to open 20 sets, I opened 20 sets and that meant that if one turned into an instant date and I spent 4 hrs. with her than I went home really late at night or until I reached my goal of 20. Some days, all of my sets went great and it would take me 10hrs to finally open the 20 sets I promised myself.
On a different week, maybe I would pick 2 new openers a day and tell myself I would just say that opener 40 times! Yes, 40 times! And I can assure that I opened 40 women with just that opener. At the end of that week I talked to 280 women! 40 times a day for 7 days! Do the math.
I took notes on everything that happened to me in the field. If I couldn’t figure out what to say or do on my own, I searched out the answers that I needed and then immediately went back out to figure it out and see if the advice I received was correct! Back then I received a lot of BAD INFO from supposed guru’s. i made sure that I found the right people who were getting REAL success and dropped all the fakes like a bad habit.
Other weeks, once I was good at meeting chicks, I went out with the intention of making up my openers and routines. That meant I went out with no routines or canned material. I was blind. I had to rely totally on my experience with women and my knowledge of female psychology to produce results. That was a really fun time for me! I got to a point when I didn’t want to use routines or canned openers because I had used them so much and my results were so predictable. I was getting laid non-stop and I had more women in my life than I could handle. I look back sometimes and realize that I had a different woman at my house up to 20-30 nights in a row! But I was relying on all the attract material that I had learned and wanted to be more natural. But the only way to learn how to be natural is to use routines in the beginning. Using routines gave me the insight and courage to approach women empty handed with just my natural ability.
The learning process was am emotional roller coaster ride! There were days when I felt like quitting and giving up, and there were days when I felt as if I was on top of the world but I always kept my eye on the prize. I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel and my dating life before I learned this stuff was HORRIBLE when it came to meeting women. I always equated more pain in going back to the way I was than pushing forward. That main point was the one motivational I can attribute to my success today!