Today I had a semi-realization about the mind(s) of being a PUA and why we react the way do with women at times. I’ve actually thought about this before, many times to be exact and finally I’ve come to the conclusion that even the best of us need some help in a tricky situation when it comes to dating women.
Let me give you a little history so this makes some sense. I met a stunning woman about 2 weeks ago. When I say stunning I mean stunning. She’s pretty much my perfect 10 in more ways than just her looks. Our first date was AWESOME! She made laugh so hard I nearly pissed my pants. I don’t think I’ve been out with a chick who was this hot and had a sense of humor that Rodney Dangerfield would be envious of. She was sharp witted, quick and threw my shit right back in my face! I was in love(not literally). We had an amazing night of wine, a Netflix movie and ice-cream topped off with mind-blowing sex! I was in lala land for sure with this one but I’ve learned my lesson before with women who have managed to mesmerized me. Don’t wuss out and play the game differently just because you like them and they’re hot! You still have to run your normal style of flirting, teasing and playing hard to get. These types of chicks are used to being able to win any guy they want over instantly and sometimes they’ll actually use sex to win the age old struggle for dominance. I needed to hold my ground, after all, this is the reason why she fell for me in the first place. If I changed it up now it would come across as incongruent, maybe needy and the battle would be lost.
The very next night she texted me saying that she was in my neighborhood and that I should come meet her. I texted her, who is this? She wrote fuck you. I said, there’s no “fuck you” in my contacts- I’m confused! She said, come meet me. I then told her that I wish I could but I was out with a friend. She said 8( Ok… Have a good night.
The next day she was texting me saying how much fun she had and that she missed me already. She was really putting herself out there. I decided to see her again even though it was only 2 days later. More amazing sex and a deeper connection.
She kept texting me sweet little messages which I barely ackowledged. I flirted back with her but in no way did I reveal how I felt towards her. She was chasing me hardcore. I then had to leave town for a week and that really bummed her out. We kept texting and even had a 2hr phone call. I spoke with her on the phone because I needed to give her something and I DID NOT want to lose this chick. So, I was giving her just enough to feel as though she was possibly winning me over(which she was).
As the days went by, I could sense a defeated-ness coming over her. She stopped chasing me so hard and stopped with the sweet “I like you” comments. I knew what I had done. I had not given her enough of my attention. I played a little too hard to get and when women feel out gamed they walk! You need to be attainable in their eyes or they’re done!
Don’t get me wrong. We were still texting a lot but the tone of her texts slightly changed. I could feel what was happening with every text.
I was now in damage control mode and I knew that if I started giving her too much, she’d walk or I might come across as needy. I was walking on a fine line.
So, the day I got back into town she texted me and said that she was glad I was back. A good sign, right????? But women are sneaky and some of them have awesome game. I took her bait and asked her to hang out the next night which she said she couldn’t. I fell into her attention grabbing trap. No big deal if it wasn’t for the fact that she didn’t offer up an alternative night to hang. She was now playing hard to get and I was a little unsure of how to play this one out to win back the girl.
Which now brings me to the whole point of this post…
If this had been one of my students I would have known exactly what to do, no questions asked!!! I would have been able to game her right back into his life but since I was the one living the experience I found it very challenging to separate myself from the situation and truly look at it objectively. So I called my boy JakeP for some advice. I had a million ideas but didn’t want to make the wrong move. So, before I did anything I got some advice. We figured out a game plan and she’s pretty much back in action.
Sometimes it’s really hard to separate yourself from your own personal life and really come from a place where your emotions and fears will get in the way. I had to be patient, clear my mind and seek the correct advice.
It’s so funny that I can literally help anyone game ANY girl on the planet perfectly but sometimes when it comes to giving myself the advice I would give students, I just can’t. It’s all about perspective.
If we could always separate our emotional selves from the reality of the situation we’d all be better PUA’s and have more successful relationships with women than we can handle. In many cases, our own worst enemy is ourselves, our emotional minds.
My advice to you would be… When you’re gaming a girl into your life, try as best as you can to separate yourselves as best as you can from your emotional neediness, fears and validation issues. Take a step back. Look at it objectively, be rational about your decisions and don’t act if your not certain of what to do. Wait if you have to. Better to wait and make the best move than acting early and making the wrong moves. You can always recover from not responding to chick but once you say or do something that isn’t right, it makes it that much more difficult to get back on track. I know this will be hard but it has been my saving grace. 99 out of a 100 times I am able to do this but when I can’t or I find myself having difficulties I am not to proud to ask for advice or just wait until the right move comes to me. It’s always good to get a second perspective.
Not everyone will be able to get an expert opinion… For that I am sorry! But the more you distance yourself from the situation the better you will respond.