This is what I think is the magic formula to succeeding with meeting women from a cold approach.
Whenever we decide to do anything whether it be better ourselves, learn something, perform a certain task or in our case, finally learn how to meet women, we will always have in our minds an expectation of how things should ultimately look or turn out. Expectations are future thoughts that are entirely based on your past experiences. When you have an expectation you are either consciously or unconsciously comparing that to an idea or image of your desired outcome, a final picture of the way things ought to look.
Expectations are both a negative and positive outlook to have. They are negative when you do something and it doesn’t turn out the way you expected it you and you react negatively. They are positive when you perform a task and they either surpass your initial image of the way things should turn out and you gain certainty and confidence and they are positive once again, when even though you fall short of your desired outcome but you use that experience to propel you further by learning from what you just fell short of… I hope this isn’t getting to confusing. If you didn’t have any expectations you would never be let down, right?
Let me give you an example of an expectation that can be negative; You read about a new opener and are dying to try it out in the field. This new opener just feels right. It feels perfect for you and you put all your money behind it being able to drive women wild when you spit those magic words out. You have all of these wild images floating around in your head of how things will turn out! I’ve been here myself in the past… You walk up to girl, deliver your opener and she blows you out hardcore and you immediately doubt your opener and yourself to be able to pick-women up! When you first read that opener and decided to use it, you more than likely filled your head up with too many expectations of how it will turn out or how things should have looked and when you got the reverse result, you once again doubted everything because you weren’t capable of handling your result. Your failed result was compared by YOU to a better image in your head that in reality doesn’t and never existed hoping for that desired result. THIS IS BAD and this type of thinking will ultimately lead to your demise!
Now, what if you went into that same situation without any expectations at all? What if your head was completely clear of any type of results that may or may not occur, expectation-less? How do you think you would react if the girl told you to fuck off? How would this type of thinking affect your next approach and positive state of mind. When you get blown-out you will automatically develop another expectation of how your next approach will look like and if you get a great result you will develop yet another expectation of how that next approach will go.
I see this all too many times with guys learning the art of seduction and pick-up! They come to the community with too many expectations. They think they’ll be sitting in hot tubs with 10 naked chicks spraying champaign while the ladies are taking turns giving him a blow-job in 30 days or less of actually approaching and going out in the field! Wrong!!!!! But like I said, expectations can also be good but more than likely the expectations that I am very used to seeing first hand are unrealistic and affect most peoples ability to stick with the learning process of how to have sex with women off of a cold-approach.
My suggestion is… You are going to have some kind of expectation no matter what you do. You need to distance yourself from your attachment to that expectation whether it be good or bad.
The second part to this equation is beliefs! 9 out of 10 guys I come into contact with do not have the proper beleifs to succeed. Their beliefs are just not developed well enough to produce the results that they so despereately seek with women. They tend to fool themselves into believing that they will get good with women… I sometimes call them dabblers! A dabbler is someone who just gets his toes wet in all areas of his life without fully jumping in or COMMITTING!
If you truly believed in your ability to learn to attract wonderful women into your life you would probably already be doing it by now and you would be doing WHATEVER IT TAKES to reach your goal. If you want to succedd you have to believe! But something is holding you back.
When I first started out there was NO DOUBT at all that I would become one of the world’s best PUA’s! I even had a mantra that I said day and night when I was first learning… ” I am the world’s greatest pick-up artist and all women find me sexy, irresistible and want to have sex with me!” You see, not only did I believe I would get good with women, I was telling myself and acting like I already WAS! That is a true belief! Act as if you have already achieved your goal, act as though you already are one the greatest PUA’s and what do you think will automatically start to happen? You become what you believe. You get good with women and fast! If you don’t believe what I’m saying, just take a hard look at your life right now. You are a sum total of your beliefs! Nothing more and nothing less.
With having a positive expectation or no expectation without outcome dependency and a true belief in yourself you will have all the success you desire!