Compliance… A new thought!

What if the way we thought compliance should look was all wrong? For the past few months I have been knee deep in the psychology behind influence and the behaviors associated with it for a revolutionary new pick-up product I have been putting together. I’ve learned more than I can imagine and have been surprised to find out just how many University professors study the psychology behind influence. Through reading and studying the works of some amazing people I have had some major shifts in my perception of human behavior, especially why we do the things we do and what we expect from people when we do them. When people do things for us it is associated with compliance and when we return those favors it is called reciprocity.

But one of the latest topics that has been coming up in my many hours of laborious reading has been the subject of compliance. To narrow it down even further, what makes us comply to certain demands, requests from people and societal norms. Of course while I’m reading up on my new topic of interest I tend to relate a vast majority of it to the art of picking-up women and seduction theory. I just can’t help myself, I need to apply/test any new principles I learn in human psychology to my interactions with women and try and dispel any old untrue or negative beliefs with the opposite sex I may have. I’m geeky like that! 8)

I hate to say this but after researching compliance for my upcoming seduction product I’ve thoroughly come to the conclusion that many of us have been wrong about compliance theory. Well, maybe not wrong just not properly informed as to what compliance really is and where it comes from and how to use it to our FULLEST advantage.

All of the advice I was given when I first came to the seduction community I blindly took as absolute fact. I mean why not? I figured these guys who were teaching me how to pick-up women were true masters of their craft and as the years went by I realized that many of the top dating guru’s really weren’t really dating guru’s at all. A handful of them were “the real deal” but most were just guys who I like to call “A recycled theory expert” with little or experience in the game itself. These are the guys who study pick-up endlessly, plagiarize our words and sell them as their own with little or no experience themselves.

Over the years I’ve had to adjust accordingly to being mislead by certain people out there teaching cold approach pick-up. One of the ways I have done this is with MASSIVE IN-FEILD EXPERIENCE and adjusting my game accordingly to the experiences I have been having. It wasn’t always fun but I was tired of trying to apply some of the principles I was fooled into believing only to experience the opposite of what I was hoping for. Compliance from women and compliance theory was no different.

An interesting study has been conducted all over America in the past 8 years by teams of trained professionals working with psychologists on the topic of compliance. The experiments they conducted were absolute genius! The premiss of the studies conducted were done solely on University campuses in various different ways but with intention of proving a certain  theory correct within the confines of all the different studies. I could name all the different ways in which this experiment was conducted but I’d be here all day writing this so one example should be enough to satisfy.

College students, both men and women were randomly asked by campus officials to perform a task that was outrageously difficult, time consuming and highly irritating to their pre-existing lifestyles with the intention of getting a solid NO answer from the persons asked. Then when the subjects said NO they were immediately offered a slightly smaller task/favor to perform. What was astounding about this study was the amount of yes’s they received when it came after a large request. Keep in mind that the slightly smaller request was really just ever so slightly smaller in comparison. The overall yes rate on the second request, the slightly less significant request was an 87% yes.

The only way for them to prove their theory correct was to blindly offer the larger request to the same demographic with no smaller request associated with it. When this area of the experiment was conducted, the professors conducting the experiments only received a whopping 5% yes rate. This is incredible because there was a 82% difference in responses. Surely a result you can not deny. Conclusion: Ask for something huge first and get something really big!

So, as I’m reading about this, you can only imagine how my mind is going crazy and thinking of ways I can apply this principle to pick-up and also how contradicting this new evidence is contrary to popular seduction compliance theory! The ramifications are huge. I couldn’t wait to get out in the field and test some of this out on various women and see what happens.

The results of the above experiment will perfectly help explain why a woman will not have sex with you but instead will give give you a blow-job or hand job to take the place of actual penetrative sex. We have been taught to think that the reason for this is because if she has sex with you quickly it might trigger a slut response from her or that she may be scared  you’re just using her for sex and will never call her again after you got what you wanted BUT, what if in reality it is a hard-wried compliance response and not a result of the above the outcomes of which are all plausible but not the real issue. The more I study this topic the more I think that many of the typical female responses to men and their requests can be incorporated into this compliance theory. Remember that I have only given you ONE of the dozens of experiments in regards to compliance conducted by these researchers and their success with their compliance model. This is why I am starting to come to a completely different conclusion.

To test these theories out for myself I went to Whole Foods and chatted up a super cute girl and after 10mins of talking to her I flat out said to her, “let’s get out of here and have a drink on the roof of my apt.” I went for a huge amount of compliance from her way to early in the interaction but by me asking of this from her so early on in the interation was the ONLY way to prove my point. Of course I knew that there would be a very, very high probability she would say no and of course she did say NO in a slight surprised giggle. That’s when I immediately offered a slightly smaller request to see if my assumptions were correct. When she said NO, I said “Ok…. Then let’s grab a coffee and take a quick stroll in the park and find a bench with some sun”, which she said YES to almost before I even finished my sentence. In her mind she had won the battle and refused to have go to the roof of my place for obvious sex. In her mind, she successfully avoided my escaltion and advances and settled for a slightly smaller request which was fine by me because it was still a form of compliance I noramlly would have NEVER gotten so early in an interaction in Whole Foods. We went to the park, got a bench and had some heavy petting and hot make out session . This was still normally faster than what I normally would expect from a woman but I can attribute it to this compliance principle I was testing out. By me doing this I was allowing her to think she is  in control to a degree of my escalation but in reality I was controlling it all along. This is real power.

This is just the beginning of how I intend to apply this new form of compliance in regards to seduction and I’m sure you can think of a million ways in which you to can start testing this out for yourself immediately! Let’s say you’re talking to a woman in a bar and you say, “Let’s get out of here and go to my place for a night cap.” You may get a “NO’ answer but you can follow that up with, “Ok… Then let’s go outside for a quick breath of fresh air” and escalate sexually there. With this compliance theory, as long as you have SOLID attraction you will most assuredly get a “YES” answer from her. Or if you ask to go for a quick walk outside and she says no you can then offer a smaller request, maybe to go sit down on the couches in the other room of the same bar. The possibilities are endless! I’m starting to feel evil… Are you??? lolol

I am on the verge of throwing out the OLD compliance thoery of starting out with a small amount of compliance and slowly building your way up to the ultimate compliance you are looking for. We call that a “YES” compliance ladder. Get a bunch of little yes’s that eventually add up to a big yes! With this new way of thinking and with the evidence provided for us we will still have a compliance ladder to follow but it won’t be  one step up the ladder at a time. It will be, start near the top of the ladder skipping the smaller steps and settling for just a little bit below the top step and then work your way back up again with a BIG compliance request and settle for something for just a wee bit less.

The good news is, by going for a BIG yes, you will NEVER get blown-out by a woman providing you have achieved sufficient attraction from her. Going for a large amount of compliance from her will only make you look Alpha and confident not the other way around. So even if you don’t get the yes you’re looking for you still look good.

Shoot for the stars and land on the moon. Sounds good to me!

25 thoughts on “Compliance… A new thought!

  1. A very interesting theory indeed… I am trying to nail a French girl who is only here in London for the next 2 nights – there is a possible meet up at some free drinks tomorrow night. I think I have attraction already from our first meet the other night.

    It would be temtping then to say something like, “how about we get a taxi and go back to mine, just you and me?” – big request, especially as she’s staying with her friends in London.

    Something less might be, “well how about we go grab something to eat around the corner then come back?” – this would give me time in isolation, make out, make her change her mind about wanting to spend the night with me.

    Only problem I see is, if she doesn’t come back on that night, there are no more free nights before she leaves for France.

    Hmm…. tricky!

    • Gift…

      Not that tricky at all… If she’s leaving for France and not coming back than you have nothing to lose! Better to go for it than have her leave wishing you made your move…


      ps… I like the compliance examples! No reason why it shouldn’t work if you have attraction and some decent rapport going… I would go for that after you have spent some time with her and not right off the bat as soon as she shows up to the bar.

      Lemme know how it goes!

      • Hey Glenn

        Well, she wasn’t there… had to attend to some “business” or something so off she goes back to France on Thursday. Girls sure do love to make it impossible to get hold of them and then they moan they can’t find a boyfriend or get laid!

        On to the next – no time to waste!

        PS – I wanted to ask, you got any advice on writing a great online profile for dating sites? Finally got around to setting one up but need a great profile. A piece about me, and one on what I am looking for in her.

  2. I wonder how outrageous we can make the initial request and still have this work. “Want to head over to my fuckbuddy’s place and have a threesome? No? Alright then let’s just have sex in that alley over there.”

    • Captain…

      That’s fucking funny as hell…

      If you said that I am sure she would laugh her ass off but might not take it seriously! Either way… I’m sure you’ll get a good reaction!


  3. I also read Robert Caildini’s book Influence. In fact, I subscribed to his website and was thinking of attending one of his workshops (for business NOT pick up!) 🙂

    For me, in my humble opinion, for one to have effective compliance on people (or women), one needs to have LEADERSHIP skills. The greater your leadership skills are, the more effective your compliance with people (or women) will be.

    I know Bradp from his Instant Attraction ebook listed 5 basic skillsets to have regarding pickup/gaming women.

    To me, the basic skillsets are:
    1) Banter – the ability to converse with women
    2) Humor – the ability to make women laugh
    3) Leadership – the ability to lead women
    4) Seduction – the ability to arouse

    Everything else is secondary (storytelling, palm reading, dancing, texting, role playing, teasing/flirting, etc)

    I was thinking about what basic skillsets to have when gaming women, then I thought about the ABC of attraction model of interaction. To me, methodologies in interactions are FLAWED! There are to many variables and scenarios to effectively follow a methodology. And from my knowledge, Bradp does not have a methodology to work off when gaming women.

    But I did like the simplicity of the structure and I thought about what one does throughout that structure, what skillsets does one utilize.

    While I dont believe in methodologies, I was also thinking about having some sort of guidance in the interaction.

    So first one must have a GOAL when gaming women. Do you want a day 2/long term relation, email/facebook/phone number close, kiss close, same day/night lay, etc.

    Once you’ve established your goal, you LEAD AND TRANSITION to toward your goal (or goals) during your interaction with the girl your gaming. Leading and Transitioning toward you goal is your guidance.

    Lastly, I wanted to point out that to develop and season your skillsets, there must be on going, high repetition (provided your correcting your mistakes)

    Read up on Daniel Coyle’s THE TALENT CODE and Geoff Colvin’s TALENT IS OVERRATED.


    • Ken…

      Excellent reply! R.C’s book is great but there are a ton of others that are just as amazing…

      We’ll talk more during our coaching session!


  4. I have a suspicion that if she says “no” for the big compliance thing first, she will stick to it even after she gives compliance for the slightly smaller one. So when you try to take her home after the park, the answer might STILL be no.


    • Dude…

      this actually came up in a study that they were conducting and the overwhelming response was compliance to the big request after there have been some smaller compromises made. That is where a “Yes compliance ladder” will work best…

      But when you escalate a chick and get her sexually aroused all bets are off… ATTRACTION ALWAYS TRUMPS LOGIC WITH WOMEN….


  5. Best blog on seduction on the web! period. I ALWAYS learn something unique that I can apply in the field.
    Thanks. ps. You should make a post about your journey (would really help us) – tell us what stickingpoints you used to have and how you conquered them and so on. Would be so interesting

    • Martin…

      Thank you for the praise. I try my best.. Really I do. I like to make it fun, different and insightful!

      I can definitely write a post sometime soon about my journey… Will take some time though but believe me when I say this, I have had just as much of a struggle as the rest of you!

      My last post about texting a girl has some inside personal stuff I went through and still do. Check it out!

  6. Bro, What do you mean check it out?? No blog post gets posted without me checking it out…yesterday… 😛

    But yes thank you. And thank you for being personal with every blogger – makes me want to put my money on a Bootcamp with you, when time is right.

    Im going out 3-5 hours EVERY DAY and have done so for almost 8 months now.. The Transformation is incredible and cant wait for the next 8 months and Im telling you, if you Post something about your journey , man would be so insightful (There is NOTHING detailed like that on the web from someone who truly has mastered this part of life).

    Anyways, quick question. online dating. I saw you wrote something about you doing a little of that. I want to mix things up – maybe an hour daily.. Do you have any advice for that, or know where I can read up on it. Want to write good profile text and so on….

    • Martin…

      A few things to keep in mind when doing online dating.

      It’s going to be a numbers game of sorts.
      Pick ONLY 2 of your best pictures
      You email to her should be short, flirty/teasing, no grammar mistakes.
      Your profile should be well thought out. Mysterious and enticing! And disqualify yourself once or twice in an obviously joking manor.
      Send emails and not winks or hello’s.
      be willing to try a profile out for a month then adjust and try that out and then a month later adjust and try that out and so on, until you’re getting the best possible results.
      3-5 emails and then go for her phone number.
      text for a day or two and then go for the date with her.

      Hope this helps…


  7. Hey Glenn! Love your blog, always check it out. Another scientific study that I found could come useful in seduction is opt in/opt out
    a) Opt in decision, person has to take an active step.
    b) Opt out decision, everyone is a donor unless they say no.
    In france organ donating is opt out and 99% donate their organs there. In the US it’s much lower becaause it’s opt in… So instead of saying “do you want to get together today?” saying “let’s get together today! meet me at such and such”. What’s your experience on this? I find it holds true, like when I go for the number and taking out my phone, instead of saying can I have your number.

    • George…

      Thanks for showing and sharing your love!

      I never thought of that in scientific terms but usually I suggest and never ask. I assume the sale unless otherwise and adjust accordingly!


  8. So you don’t follow the common advice of setting up a date first, then going for the phone number only after she agrees to the date?

  9. Damn man, so much more is possible. Like how do we break out of the structured box and find new breakthroughs? Theres so much more stuff out there we can twist and make way easier and theres so many things undiscovered….How do we get to those things? What are some more tests they were running like that? When are you releasing the product and whats it talk about? Yea, it is driving my mind crazy. Dude finding breakthroughs like that is awsome!!!!

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