When should you text a girl?

You approached her, got her phone number, now what? When do you send your first text and what should that first text be??? I wish this was a black and white issue as obviously there are many factors that go into when and what you should text a girl. I will do my best to OVER simplify this process.

I’m gonna give you a general rule of thumb but as with any advice there are going to be exceptions to the rule. The common questions I hear is, should I text her that day? Should I wait a day? Should I wait 2 days? Should I wait 3 days? I will always lean towards the sooner the better but not soon enough to come across as needy for her attention or to meet up with you again. I think I can give you a sort of chart that will work…


You meet her before 2 o’clock in the afternoon (Providing you didn’t make plans for that night already. If you did, it’s obviously clear you should be texting her that same day) I would text her about 1-2 hrs after. I would only text her this quickly if our interaction was less than 30mins… Remember, time is your worst enemy when  keeping a woman’s attention on you and meeting up again. The more time that goes by the less likely you will see each other again. This is just the way it goes. The only reason for texting this quick is for the sole purpose of making sure she stays interested in me and to build some more rapport with her. Texting is great for rapport building. I would send her a few flirty texts and then keep to almost all rapport based convo. If I only chatted with her for 30 mins, chances are we didn’t have enough time to really connect. The attraction was there but did we connect?

You meet her at the same time as above but talk for about 1hour. Rapport and attraction was sufficient! I would text her at around 5-6 o’clock but I would keep it short and sweet. The reason for this is I want to see if she’s committed to me and will reciprocate my communication. So, I’ll send a few texts, ALL of which are flirty and then when she texts me after my third or fourth text back and forth, I will not respond to her. The dreaded DEAD-AIR! I always try to make sure she sends the last text. Keep her wondering about me… Women are very used to being texted non-stop by guys and never being dead-aired… Then next day at around 11am I will send a fun text and resume my normal text game which is 3-4 flirty texts, then rapport for a bit and then make plans to hang with her.

You meet her at 6-9pm… Wait until the next day somewhere around lunch time and send a fun flirty text. Resume my process as said above. I will not text her that night under any circumstances. The only way I will text her that night is if her FIRST text to me is that night and it says come meet me or come join me. If she texts me that night with anything else, I will ignore until the morning around 11am and say something like… “Hey… I’m just seeing your text? Are your thumbs awake yet?”

Night-Game: If I get a chicks number while I’m out at a bar because she is not capable of being pulled that same night,  I already would have screened for her logistics for the rest of that evening before I got her number. Meaning, is she staying out late, what other places she may be going and so on… After getting her number and walking away I will start texting her that evening if I know she is still out and about crawling around to different bars. The likelihood of seeing a woman you’ve met in a bar again is very low as we all know, so I will see if I can get her to start texting with me that same night for two reasons… The first is to make sure she doesn’t forget about me. The second is to see if I can meet back up with her somewhere and seal the deal… In other words… To go home with her that night. I have had it happen plenty of times where a woman’s logistics at the time I met her was bad, but for some reason this changed throughout the night…  And I had some great sex with her…

If I text her that night sometimes I will say… “Ewwww… Some crazy girls from Long Island tried to kidnap me. I need help!” or “Pssssssst….” or “Hey horsegirl… you still galloping around town?”

If I choose not to text her that night I will send my first text to her the next day! In this situation do not wait longer than 1 day!!!!

And a last piece of advice… If you have no idea when to text her… JUST SEND A TEXT! Better to send something than nothing… If you can’t figure out what to text her… JUST TEXT HER SOMETHING. Don’t blow it by not texting and letting to much time go by. You’re gonna blow it sometimes with your texts… There is no way around this. There are times when you are going to sound needy and scare her away. SO WHAT?! How else are you going to learn? Catalog and keep track of your texts. Learn and study your texting patterns. Learn what works and when you get the most responses and what time of day that is…

Soooooooo many guys are always on the hunt for the “perfect text”… And there isn’t one! If she doesn’t respond…. It’s “usually” not the text you sent…. IT WAS YOUR PICK-UP! Your pick-up just wasn’t good enough. And who cares???

Just go out into the Garden Of Eden and pick another Apple off the tree and take a bite!

15 thoughts on “When should you text a girl?

  1. I fucking love your work man. SO INSPIRING. It keeps me moving forward and plowing through.

    I’m currently slowly getting over a hard break up with the ex (since August 2011), and it feels so foreign to me to NOT feel so extremely insecure, desperate, and outcome dependent.

    That was a terrible place I never ever want to go back to. Actually, it was one of the MAIN reasons why I decided to join you and others on this journey…

    The ex recently broke up with the bf. Any thoughts on how to get her to stick around? I’m not interested in a relationship with her, at least not yet…

    • Irv…

      Break-ups are HARD! Sorry to hear. Been through a few myself and have to admit that they can definitely take their toll on your sanity! But, you do get over them! It may take some time but eventually you only remember her as a positive memory and wish her the best and drop all the negative feelings you may or may not have towards her.

      BUT… If you were dating a woman and you broke up, you broke up for a reason and 9 out of 10 times if you get back together those reasons are STILL THERE. You’ve just had some time to forget about all the bullshit that went down and have tricked yourself into thinking things could be better this time around, which they never are. The relationship will seem ok for a limited time but the old issues will resurface and it will be that much harder to walk away!

      My thoughts on getting her to stick around is NOT to get her to stick around. Find a woman you are more compatible with and keep learning how to seduce women off of a cold-approach! You want to be with a woman out of WANT and not NEED! You’re just attached to your old feelings and are tricking yourself into believing that they are still real for her… But who knows? Maybe I’m wrong. It just sounds like trouble to me…

      Whatever you decide to do, you know we will all support you.


      • I just got around to seeing your reply on this particular comment I made a while back.

        Thank you so much for saying what you said. Seriously man. It makes a world of difference on the way I feel and view the world now.

  2. Great article dude! I was on holiday recently and I got this cute spanish chicks number but I blew it by not texting her soon enough (I was afraid of seeming needy). If I had read this recently I would not have made the same mistake.

    Thanks for the post!

  3. One of my biggest problems is flaky numbers. I think this post and the last one explain two of the biggest reasons for it. I’ve been following the standard advice of texting every 2nd or 3rd day; didn’t realize the initial text was an exception to that rule. I’m looking forward to trying out this advice and seeing if my flake rate goes down.

    • Hey Captain…

      Flakes are unavoidable… But with proper game and texting you can reduce the flake rate dramatically!

      Make sure you have attraction-great rapport-time (meaning you spend as much time with the girl as possible if she’s not pull-able and there’s nothing else going on). This should help you!


  4. Glenn, you are the text master. Different things work for different guys, some texting a lot more and some less. I sometimes err on the side of texting less, just to be safe. But you’re right that you don’t learn as much that way.


  5. Wonderful post again Glenn! Would love to see an article from you regarding things that happen after comfort like getting things sexual, seduction, closing techniques etc. You seem to have nailed down opening, flirting and comfort on here!

  6. MY MAN THIS IS EPIC, text timing is like the ugly snake when it comes to pick up so thank you so much for posting this.

    • Lithius…

      My pleasure… That’s why I post this stuff. I want everyone to benefit from all the hard work I do.

      Let me know how it works out for you!


  7. Glenn, GREAT POST as always. It’s always good to try than just overthink stuff. Also, I’d appreciate it if you made a post about “relationship management” and share your thoughts. I’ve realized recently that now that I’ve gotten to know how to attract women and form relationships with them, I know NOTHING about relationships. Especially when she’s mad about something, the stress is tremendous and hampers with my own endeavors. I have NO clue about how to handle it when they are just upset over BS.

    • Stephen B…

      A post on relationship management would take days to write up… If you want a good insight into my thoughts on relationship management… I did an interview with BradP on this and I think you can get it through the 30/30 club..

      But if she gets mad at you… Just be un-reactive! DON’T REACT… Just say… Awwwww, that’s cute. Look at how mad your getting.
      Just agree. I agree with chicks all the time when they get mad at me. Once you agree, there is nothing more she can say. Agree and DON’T explain yourself. It drives them crazy….


  8. ” The dreaded DEAD-AIR! I always try to make sure she sends the last text. Keep her wondering about me… Women are very used to being texted non-stop by guys and never being dead-aired… ”

    Hahaha thats funny you should say this. I remembered this post and I was texting this girl and I remembered to let her leave the last text (usually I’m the one to do it).

    I did this and she text me like 5minutes later with almost exactly the same message (which I also ignored).

    I get that I should have ignored her first “last” message but should I have responded to the second one?

    I’m afraid of seeming rude but I don’t want to let my nice guy side hold me back!

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